


Choking Back

by shnuffeluv



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Food, Food Issues, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Morality | Patton Sanders Cooks, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-28 18:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19399930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/shnuffeluv
Summary: This story is inspired bysidespromptblog’spost, which can be foundhere!Deceit has issues eating certain foods. Patton tries to understand.





	Choking Back

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Deceit Sanders HC](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/493978) by sidespromptblog. 



Deceit forced down another bite from his plate. Patton had made everyone dinner again, which Deceit both loved and hated. He loved it because he had an excuse to be around the Light Sides and pretend for a minute that he was a part of their little “group.” But he hated it because, without fail, Patton would make something that had a texture which was just _wrong_ to Deceit. He didn’t want to say anything, though, lest he be kicked from the group and no longer be invited to any family dinners. He wanted, so desperately, to keep coming to family dinners.

But the food this time (spinach lasagna) made him nearly cry out of pure frustration. He hated the texture of spinach, and to put it in something that he could actually stand most nights (pasta was a comfort food) just seemed cruel, like Patton was mocking him on purpose. He knew Patton wasn’t doing that, he hadn’t even _told_ Patton he had this issue, how was Patton supposed to know if Deceit didn’t _tell_ him? But it still stung, that he was so close to having a food that he actually enjoyed only to have it snatched away from him by some stupid spinach.

The others were laughing at a joke Roman had told, and even Virgil was cracking a smile. Everyone else had eaten at least half of what was on their plate, and Deceit was barely a quarter of the way through his. He prayed that whatever everyone did, they didn’t notice that he wasn’t eating. But the universe is a cold, cruel mistress, because Patton looked over at Deceit and frowned. “Deceit, are you not hungry?”

Deceit swallowed. He could lie. He could lie and say that he wasn’t, he could get away with it, the others didn’t know all of his tells. “I’m just not feeling very well,” Deceit muttered. It was a half-truth. “I might need something…easier on my stomach.”

“Oh, why didn’t you say something sooner?” Patton asked, standing up and taking Deceit’s plate away. “I’ll make you some soup instead, if you like? Would that be all right?”

Deceit slowly nodded. “Just make sure it’s not…not cream based,” he said. He hated the taste of cream based broths.

Patton nodded. “Of course. Chicken noodle sound good?”

Deceit choked back a sob. That was one of the few foods he regularly enjoyed. “Sounds perfect.”

Patton smiled and summoned a bowl, passing it to Deceit, who took it gratefully. He made sure not to eat it too fast, so that the others would believe he was just feeling a little under the weather. Virgil was talking about a new horror game that had come out that they probably shouldn’t play, and Roman was arguing that the views would make it worth it, as if he wasn’t scared out of his mind whenever they played those games. Deceit just followed the conversation silently, not knowing if his contributions would be welcomed at all.

As everyone started finishing their food, they grabbed their plates and put them in the kitchen sink. Deceit was sipping the last of the chicken noodle broth when Patton came back over and sat down across from him, where Roman had been not a minute before. “Deceit, can I ask you something and get an honest answer?”

Alarm bells ringing in Deceit’s head, he put the bowl down and nodded.

“Why didn’t you want to eat the lasagna tonight? Because when you feel sick, you don’t eat the whole bowl of soup I make you. Usually, you barely eat half. _If_ that. But you ate the entire thing,” Patton said.

Deceit’s human side of his face turned crimson. He hadn’t accounted for that. _Stupid, stupid!_ he chastised himself. “I guess…I guess I wasn’t in the mood for lasagna,” Deceit answered, eyes drifting away from Patton.

“I asked for an honest answer, Dee,” Patton said, not unkindly. “You like most of the lasagna I make. What about this one made you lose your appetite?”

Deceit couldn’t see a way out of this, and he hated it. But he had to be honest at this point. If Patton got mad at him, he could deny him family dinners, and while he might get mad if he told the truth, he still had a chance of being invited back. He wouldn’t get that chance if he lied. “The spinach,” Deceit mumbled. “I can’t stand the spinach.”

“Why not?” Patton asked. He didn’t sound defensive, just confused. “It doesn’t have much of a taste to it.”

“The texture,” Deceit admitted, screwing his eyes shut tight. “The texture feels bad in my mouth and makes me feel gross.”

Patton didn’t say anything long enough that Deceit risked opening one eye to look at his counterpart. Patton didn’t look angry, or even annoyed. He just looked…upset. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Patton finally asked, voice soft.

“I…I wanted to be invited back,” Deceit said, playing with the gloves on his hands. “I didn’t want to lose…lose the family dinner. I needed…I needed to know that I could be around…around you all without being told to…told to go away.”

Patton rounded the table in an instant and hugged Deceit tightly, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable. Deceit tentatively hugged Patton back. When Patton pulled away Deceit let his arms drop. Patton grabbed Deceit’s shoulders. “Dee, I’m so sorry. I should have made it clear that you’re _always_ invited to be with us, no matter what we’re doing. We all thought that you preferred being by yourself most of the time, and that’s why you only came around for dinner.”

Deceit felt loathing wash over him and turn in on himself in an instant. _You idiot, you should have seen that!_ his mind screamed at him. _Aren’t you good for_ anything _anymore?_

Patton squeezed Deceit’s shoulders, and Deceit pulled himself out of his thoughts. “What other foods make you uncomfortable?” Patton asked. “Do you have a list? Can I see it?”

Deceit blinked. “You…why?”

“Because I want to make sure I’m not making something that’s a bad texture for you, Dee. Listen, just because I make something, doesn’t mean you have to like it. You can tell me you’re not a fan. You’re free to do that. And I can make you something else. It’s not a big deal. Even if you aren’t having what everyone else is having, you still have a spot at the family dinner!” Patton smiled softly at him. “Because you want to help Thomas, too, even if sometimes it’s hard to see.”

Deceit’s eyes pricked with tears. Was Patton serious? Was he really allowed to come to the family dinner and have food that he liked, even if no one else had it? “You mean that?” Deceit asked, voice thick.

“Yeah, I mean it,” Patton said softly. “Do you have a list of foods you like or foods you don’t like? I’ll make you stuff from that list only when it’s time for family dinners, and depending on what you like if I ask you to try something new at other times, we can add to that list. Sound good?”

Deceit nodded. That sounded _amazing._

Patton grinned at him and gently coaxed him into talking about what foods he liked and what foods he didn’t. And next week, his heart warmed up when he saw that everyone had plates full of breaded chicken breast, except for one spot, which had mac and cheese, his favorite food of all time. He sat down in front of the bowl of mac and cheese, and as everyone tucked into the food, Deceit was infinitely glad that he was considered part of this family…after such a long time of being rejected, he was part of the group again.


End file.
